Supervisors, HR and leaders

What supervisors should and shouldn’t say to a struggling employee

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What should a manager say to an employee with mental health issues? Start with what you have observed, not with their performance. Ask how they are doing, listen, and ask what would help at work rather than what their diagnosis is, then agree on next steps and a time to check in.

A supervisor’s words carry weight. The same sentence from a co-worker and from the person who sets your schedule lands differently. Government of Canada guidance for federal public service managers on Canada.ca is clear that your role “is not that of a therapist.” It is to listen, show empathy and know the supports available. Building that skill, and the program around it, is what our Champion training for supervisors and HR is for.

Set up the conversation

  • Find a private space. The Mental Health Commission of Canada (MHCC) manager’s tip sheet on recognizing declining mental health notes that employees might want to talk privately.
  • Turn off distractions. The same tip sheet says to turn off distractions and practise active listening.
  • Offer a support person. The tip sheet notes employees may want additional support or representation, such as a health and safety rep, union rep or another trusted employee. The MHCC’s accommodation guide also lists HR, JHSC members, family members and cultural or community supports, and calls this “completely appropriate.”
  • Leave buffer time after. The MHCC suggests a little time to reset before you both move on.

What a manager should say to an employee with mental health issues: openers

Lead with specific changes you have noticed. The Canadian Centre for Occupational Health and Safety (CCOHS) says that if there are concerns about performance, “this fact should not be the first focus.” It suggests starting with “I’ve noticed lately…” or “You haven’t been yourself lately, are you okay?”

The MHCC’s tip sheet offers these openers:

  • “I’m concerned about you. I’ve noticed some changes in your work lately (give examples). How are you doing?”
  • “You’ve been doing a great job, but I notice you haven’t been as involved as usual in team meetings. Is everything OK?”

If they say they’re fine

Do not push. Say the door is open: “Okay. If anything changes, I’ll make time to talk.” CCOHS notes these conversations “may not be successful the first time, but continual follow up and discussion should bring about trust.” Keep your regular check-ins going.

Asking is not only kind. In Ontario, under the Ontario Human Rights Commission’s (OHRC) policy on mental health disabilities, an organization that is aware, or reasonably ought to be aware, that a disability may be affecting job performance has a “duty to inquire” before making a decision that would affect the person adversely. Our article on the duty to inquire in Ontario explains when that applies.

Phrases to swap

The MHCC’s manager scripts on effective communication pair common lines with better ones:

  • Instead of “Your performance isn’t up to par lately.” Try “I’ve noticed some changes recently. I’m wondering if there’s anything I can do to better support you.”
  • Instead of “Everyone else manages to meet these deadlines.” Try “I’d like to understand the barriers you’re facing with these timelines.”
  • Instead of “That sounds difficult, but everybody has challenges.” Try “Thank you for sharing that with me. It took courage, and it helps me understand how to better support you.”
  • Instead of “Have you tried exercise/meditation/positive thinking?” Try “What have you found helpful in managing this? What accommodations might make your work experience better?”

If things get heated, CCOHS advises staying calm and gently calming the person, without yelling “calm down!” Listen without interrupting, acknowledge their feelings, and repeat back what you heard.

What not to ask

Do not ask for a diagnosis. The OHRC policy says an accommodation provider generally does not have the right to know confidential medical information such as the cause of the disability, diagnosis, symptoms or treatment, unless these clearly relate to the accommodation being sought. Only in rare cases, where needs are complex, challenging or unclear, may more information be requested, up to a diagnosis, and the employer must be able to clearly justify why. If the employee asks for an accommodation, the OHRC says what they may generally be expected to provide includes:

  • that they have a disability or medical condition
  • the limitations or needs associated with it
  • whether they can perform the essential duties of the job, with or without accommodation
  • the type of accommodation that may be needed
  • if they are on leave, regular updates about when they expect to come back to work

So ask about needs, not labels: “What would make work more manageable right now?” The federal public service guidance adds that, in a check-in, an employee does not have to give you any details about their mental health, and if they want to discuss performance but not their well-being, respect their wishes.

Keep what you hear private. The OHRC says documentation should go only to people who need it, that it may be better given to HR or a health department than to a supervisor, and that medical information should be kept separately from the personnel file. Ask the employee what, if anything, they want shared with the team, and how.

Sometimes a performance conversation still has to happen. The OHRC says that before disciplining someone for misconduct, an organization must first consider whether the behaviour is caused by a disability. Get HR advice first, and see our guide to performance management when mental health may be a factor.

Close with next steps

  • Agree on what happens next and who does it.
  • Start simple. The MHCC’s quick reference for managers notes that many effective accommodations cost nothing and can be put in place right away.
  • Point to supports: your Employee Assistance Program, benefits and HR.
  • Get support yourself. The federal guidance tells managers to contact the EAP for advice on how to support an employee who discloses. Ask your own EAP or HR what help they offer managers.
  • Set a time to follow up, and keep it. Needs change over time, so check in regularly.

If the employee goes on leave, the conversation continues in a different form. See our return-to-work checklist for supervisors.

If it is a crisis

Safety first. If an employee is at high risk of harming themselves or others, the federal public service guidance is to call 9-1-1 right away and tell the dispatcher that responders trained in mental health or crisis de-escalation are needed. Anyone can call or text 9-8-8, the Suicide Crisis Helpline, 24 hours a day.

Your employees will have these conversations with each other too. Share our guide on what to say to a co-worker who is struggling with your team.

Practise before it counts

The Champion stream covers all eight online modules, including finding hazards, building the plan and measuring results. On the practical day, supervisors rehearse scored scenarios with trained facilitators and actors, including a crisis, and Champions finish with a written 90-day plan for their own organization.

Give your people a plan they have practised

Bedrock Minds combines online modules with one practical day where staff and leaders rehearse the conversations this article describes. Tell us about your team and we reply within one business day.

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This article is general information, not legal advice.

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